non-poker brags and beats.
 

Brag- for my birthday a few friends pitched in and got me this . It is the best chef's knife i have owned.

beat- I cut my index finger on my right hand cleaning it this evening.


brag and beat- bleed through 4 Nemo bandiads, but the first Scooby bandaid I slapped on it stopped the bleeding.

We need more people to post random goodness like this.

Brag: Summer is here and yesterday was my first "official" day off.
Beat: Vomiting and explosive diarreah.
Variance: Under 180 lbs for the first time in a long time.

20 pounds of diarrhea?

i weight 180 pounds
im in california
i have played like no poker this summer i need to start

I need a personal assistant. Booking flights to Australia is so fucking tedious.

Went and saw a travel agent today. Booked thru her even tho it was 20 bucks more than what ive found online cuz she was hot. I'm such a fish.

This thread is now my blog. everyone stay out of my thread.

in b4 ban

when are you going to AU? And you won't be a fish if you had game and got the agency woman to go with you. Everyone knows travel agents have out of control libidos and like it dirty.

What's funny is that I'm quite certain that you don't know that.

my mom is a travel agent, growing up was hard.....

mels dad could be one of many men who took flights to paris imo

I like turtles.

I'm putting sunblock on my lil' guys (5yo) face about 20 mins ago and he sniffs and says, "I like sunblock. Sunblock smells like hotdogs!"

WTF Drew?

Thread jack?
 

Wait, are we telling cute kid stories?

I’m driving my son (7) in the back. “Daddy,” he says “I’m having a wave of amnesia.”

I ask him if he remembers where we are going. He says, yes, we’re going to a friend’s birthday party. Then you don’t have amnesia, I tell him.

I look in my rearview. He seems confused.

“Dad, it’s really bad amnesia!” he shouts.

“I promise you don’t have amnesia.” I tell him. “What’s bothering you?”

A second later he pukes all over the backseat. I turn around, get him all cleaned up and in the bath. And then later we learned the difference between the words “amnesia” and “nausea.”

What the fuck kinda hotdogs you buyin' out there in Nevada?? :confused::confused:

Beat: ur kids an idiot

Beat: ur azz if i ever see you in person :thumbsup:

coconut obv

Brag: Cubs swept the Sux this weekend
Beat: Someone bought $7k worth of shit on Ebay with my Discover Card today.
Variance: 105 degree heat

Beat: You own a Discover card.

ftw

Explain plz?

Stores actually accept those still?