[2Tone]

Monday A.M.

Time to clean myself up and actually do so more work. I spent most of Monday in marketing/advertising conferences, which were fascinating, but only if you are in the industry. The real fun was on the convention floor, where every tech company in the world except Apple is showcasing all their latest toys.

It’s hard to describe the scope/scale of CES – I believe it the largest convention in the United States, with over 140k attendees. The show is divided among three separate halls, which are so large they transport you from one to the other via golf carts. Among the coolest things I saw …

This robot, called Asimo. It movements are amazingly lifelike – it can bend its knees, run, respond to voice commands, and lift heavy objects. The first application will be to assist disabled people. In the future, who knows?


A crystal-clear 108 inch LCD TV


The car-audio section, which featured ridiculously tricked out cars

including Lamborghinis, low-riders, and a Batmobile, all with massive stereo and video systems.

Plus all sorts of Ipod accessories (water-proof case, et.), miniscule memory sticks, HD and Blu-Ray DVD players, booth babes, and much, much more.

After an exhausting day, I catch a shuttle to the amazing Bellagio buffet, featuring Chilean Sea Bass, swordfish, salmon, crab and other non seafood items that I didn’t bother with. Scrumptious.

I watch some Japanese conventioneers play $4k a hand at Bellagio. And win.

Bellagio’s poker room is overflowing, and has no open 4/8 seats. Biggest game going is 10/20 NL, but I didn’t recognize any of the players. I head down to Mandalay Bay to play 4/8, half-kill, with ½ dollar blinds. I run good once again, and make over $100.

From there, I go over the Luxor, which spread the most ridiculous NL game in the city.
“Max buy-in is $50.”
“Min buy is $50?”
“No, sir. Max buy-in $50, though you may rebuy if you fall below $50.”
“Well I’ll take $50 then!”
Oh, and there are three blinds, just because. I half expected them to bring out a sixth card after the river. I double up with two pair, then get out of there because I want to play the most ridiculous limit game in the city instead.

Ah, back at the 2-6 Excalibur spread game, with $100 in front of me. Action grinds to a halt frequently. Is it because the dude is going into tank, contemplating a $6 raise, or he is not aware the action is on him? Could be either one! Then there’s this gem.
Hyper-aggro dude #1 in seat #3: ‘Can I straddle?’
Dealer: ‘Yes. $8.’
Hyper-aggro dude #2 in seat #4: ‘Can I re-stradde?’
Dealer: ‘Yes. $14.’
I’m in seat #7. J-9 suited. Call! Flop is rags, gets heavy action, and I submit. A low straight ends up dragging what was easily $160 pot.
Two hours later I’ve lost nearly $180. At a 2-6 game. Time for bed.

A few hours of sleep later, and I’m wide awake. Can’t sleep in Vegas no matter what. You want degenerate gambling? How about the 2-4 limit game at the MGM (really nice room, BTW) at 7:30 in the morning? Most players are calling every hand pre-flop. Except for the nine seat. He’s sound asleep, and stays that way for two full rotations before the floor finally kicks him out. I crush the game for a $2 profit before heading back to the conference.

Tuesday night is my last in the city. Back to Mandalay Bay to repeat my success at 4/8. No go. KOD in full effect. My flush beaten by a full house on the river. Losses are mounting. I quit after losing nearly an entire buy-in, which puts me perilously close to dead even for the trip. I will not leave Vegas in the red. But it’s time to get out of there.

Go to Ceasars, make an effort to get into Pure. Line is ridiculous. It would take a lot of grease to get in, and even that would require a long wait just to bribe the guy.

Whose shoulder can I weep on? Well, at $20 per song, I know just where I can find a pair of very sympathetic … ears.

Flash forward to 2 a.m. I reek of sweat and cheap perfume. I have conferences in a few hours, then a plane to catch. But the Excalibur poker room is on they way back up to my room. There’s an open seat at the 2/4 game. The theme from Rocky plays in my head. Don’t call it a comeback! Buy in short -- $50 only. A/7 suited no good on the river, and I’m down. This might have been a mistake. But wait. Pocket nines! Three-bet pre-flop. Board is Jack high, and three of us see a turn. Not a nine, but not an ace either. Hero bets, get called. Dealer burns. I need a nine, and to get some sleep. River is an ace. Fuck. I look across the table. My eyes are blood shot. I check with a shaky hand. He looks at the Ace, shakes his head.

And mucks. I scoop the pot, and run away as fast as I can, up nearly $20 for the trip. See you next time.