I'm not claiming to have played this particularly well, but I hear ya with the fuggin deuce three...
At least your tard had 5 outs to improve.  I can't fade 4 or hit 19, obv.
PokerStars Cash game, $2/$4 No Limit, 6 players
Hand History  by 
SB: $324
BB: $500.50
UTG: $400
MP: $400
HERO (CO): $400
Button: $433
 
SB posts Small Blind $2
BB posts Big Blind $4
 
Pre-flop: 4

 5

 ($6)
UTG folds
MP folds
HERO raises to $14
Button calls $14
SB folds
BB folds
 
Flop: 8

 2

 5

 ($34)
HERO bets $22
Button calls $22
 
Turn: 8

 2

 5

 3

 ($78)
HERO bets $54
Button raises to $156
HERO raises to $364
Button calls $208
 
River: 8

 2

 5

 3

 T

 ($806)
 
Button shows 2

 3

Button wins $803 with two pair Threes and Deuces