Since the $5.25 seems to be such an issue, why not go back to the play money heads up match. Bugsy's club/Pokerpages (free part) has a good tourney structure and if Lou doesn't have that site TP has a link to it so would even be helping him out a little more there. Then if Lou wins transfer whatever amount you decide on through whateveer account you want.
This is funny but I would have to compare it to Dennis Miller doing a play-by-play of a root canal.
Play some poker already!!
