Live Poker Sucks

[PShabi]

This may sound harsh, but your mom must work with some fat sons of bitches.

[sjay2k]

zomg i just tried live poker

5/10 half-pot at the local casino

so so so silly

trip report

first hand i have KQ and raise to 20 (apparently u can only min raise in half pot preflop?) and get called by 3 players.

flop JT9 rainbow. I half-pot and get called by two players.

turn 2. I half-pot and get called by one player.

river 6. I half-pot, and the other player (plebbish looking middle-age guy) tanks for like five minutes and declares that he's folding; disgustedly tabling pocket 5s (what?). he then proceeds to rave on about how he "can't win a hand" etc.

each hand takes a few minutes and i proceed to get trashed exceptionally quickly (perhaps evident in this post still). beers and daquiris (sp?).

i get no playable cards while the table fish proceed to dump about 5k to the other young guy on the table (who is pretty bad in his on right, btw).

i raise KcTc on the button, nearly the whole table calls. flop QcJc6d. sb leads, bb calls, a few others call and i half-pot. only the bb calls. turn is a 7h and it goes check-check. river 7s and the bb leads out for half-pot. i fold and he shows 89o (what?).

the dealer then squanders 15 minutes of my life trying to work out how to use the dealing machine. more beers consumed here i believe.

i raise 88 on the button and the blinds call. flop 852 rainbow. check, check, i bet half-pot and the bb calls. turn T- the bb check-calls another half-pot bet. river K- the bb check-folds to me, flinging 23o to the muck, mumbling about AK and luck. i can hardly stop myself laughing because i'm so so drunk at this point.

i raise J9s from the cutoff against two limpers and get called five times (obv). flop J83 (two diamonds). checked to me, i half-pot, and utg (terrible,terrible lagfish) calls. the turn is an offsuit 9 and utg min check-raises me. i go allin for not much more (maybe 200 into a 1300 pot i think). he thinks for three minutes, uttering nonsense like "i think we have the same hand" and then, seemingly reluctantly, calls with QTo (nice call, sometimes i fold the nuts personally) and stacks me.

i get more drunk and go home. i'm never playing live poker again. the people are so obnoxious/borderline-retarded, the game is absurdly slow and alcohol impedes my pokering abilities.

sdfaqesfasdfwerfkrewjtgrhalkbjnrtalkhbtrn

[lightfungus]

That stuff entertains me, but that form of NL seems like a headache. Just imagine if you were paying NL with them...! Oh, and thats why I don't drink when I play...

[sjay2k]

also the lucky young player tells me he normally plays $20 sngs on the internet and i think his buyin represented about 1/2 of his bankroll. well done

[Zybomb]

SJay Hell of a report. LMAO. The funny thing is you will see crazy shit like this all the time when you play Live

On a different note, one other thing I forgot to mention in my response is the benefits of reads

- What kind of chips they put in

- How they put their chips in

- Whether they announce their bet ("Fifty") or just place chips in

- When raising how they raise either 1) Announcing raise while throwing in a call, then going back to raise 2) announcing raise and throwing all the chips in at once 3) just throwing in all the chips with no verbal action.... alot of the time one of these three ways shows strength, the other is an informational raise

In addition to actual facial expressions body language etc. I've made several calls (and laydowns) live that I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to make on the internet.

- The benefit of running business (HUGE to limit varience)

and more.

Random Note: I had another solid session last night both live and online, bringing me into the positive online for the year (finally) and cruisin along 4 figures overall for the year..

[Van_Broked]

I wondered about these kinds of tells. Do you find there is a general pattern Zy or does it vary per individual?

[Zybomb]

It varies per individual -- and some people do the same thing everytime (i.e always just throw in a bunch of chips) BUT I can make a fairly good GENERAL analysis

- When a player announces his bet he is usually strong (if he was weak he normally wouldnt want to try and give away anything in his voice, so he just wouldn't say anything). When a player just puts in chips it could be either, but if he regularly does both, he's often weaker when he doesn't announce his bet

- When raising, if a player calls first and then goes back for raising chips, he is usually strong (assuming he does both). If he raises with just one motion, it is usually mixed

- When raising, if a player announces the total bet as opposed to how much he raises, he is often weak (assuming he does both) and is saying the total bet because it is a higher number which sounds more intimidating and thus more likely to enduce a fold. If they announce the smaller number (how much more ontop they are raising) it's often strength for the same reason (it makes the bet seem less)

- When a player uses smaller denominations of chips for his bet, it usually means he is weak and is using more chips to make the bet seem psychologically bigger

- As for how they put their chips in, its hard to describe, but how they release their chips, the force in which they throw them in and and their timing, can all give clues about the strength of their hand


Again, these vary from individual to individual and sometimes don'tmean anything -- but if I had to generalize more often than not, this (above) is how I would do so