Last 24 Hours

[Misc]

Officer: Good evening. Can I see your driver's license?
JDMcNugent7: I’m afraid I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my fifth conviction for drunk driving.
Officer: Oh dear. Can I see the owner's documents for this vehicle?
JDMcNugent7: Actually it's not my car. I stole it yesterday.
Officer: The car is stolen?
JDMcNugent7: Yes. But actually, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting away my gun.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
JDMcNugent7: Yes sir. That's where I hid it after shot the owner and shoved her body in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
JDMcNugent7: Yes, sir.

When he heard this, the police officer radioed his captain for backup. In a few minutes, the car was surrounded by armed police. The captain approached the driver to try and diffuse the tense situation.

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
JDMcNugent7: Sure. Here it is.
Captain: Whose car is this?
JDMcNugent7: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
Captain: Would you mind just slowly opening your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in there?
JDMcNugent7: Of course officer, but there's no gun in here!
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.
JDMcNugent7: No problem officer, but I assure you there is nothing in the trunk!

The police captain was very confused about what had happened.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, that the car was stolen, that you had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk!
JDMcNugent7: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...